Jerri Woolworth Weddings| San Diego Wedding Planner

For those of us in the US, we have an idea of what a typical American “anglo-saxon” wedding looks like. The dress, the cake, the reception, the vows – all pretty typical. The dress is white. The cake is either chocolate or vanilla. The reception has speeches from the bridal part. The vows incorporate 1st Corinthians 13.

But weddings aren’t what they once were. There isn’t a “traditional” wedding, anymore. Even the “traditional” weddings of today are very different than the “traditional” weddings of our parents’ and grandparents’ day. There’s a lot of change happening and much of it is due to the acceptance of different cultures’ traditions and customs. It’s fascinating!

For the next few weeks, I’m going to take a look at some of the beautiful traditions of cultures from around the world. I’ve had the honor of designing weddings all over the globe and for many intercultural marriages here in the US and I want to pass some of that information on to you. Whether you’re marrying into a different culture or you’re attending a wedding hosted by more “traditional” (  ) family, you’re sure to fit right in!

Jewish Traditions

The Dress:

• Covered shoulders is the most common requirement for brides marrying in a synagogue. If this is the only requirement, you can get away with wearing short — even capped — sleeves. Canadian designer Paloma Blanca’s collection features short-sleeved, traditional, ball gown-style dresses that exude a refined simplicity and are appropriately modest for the synagogue. You won’t find any plunging necklines or clingy sheaths in this collection.
• A few final thoughts before you buy: Avoid gowns with too much color. In Jewish custom, a white wedding dress symbolizes spiritual purity. But if white’s not your color, don’t worry. Some Sephardic and Mizrahi brides wear bright, festively colored headdresses and gowns to symbolize the extreme joy of the event.
• Last but not least, don’t forget your veil. According to the book of Genesis, the custom of veil-wearing originated when Rebekah, working in her father’s field, covered her head in modesty when she first saw Isaac approaching.

The Ceremony:

• Jewish weddings typically take place under a chuppah, which is an open canopy supported by four poles. It’s the first roof the couple share, and the structure’s lack of walls pays tribute to the open tent the biblical figures Abraham and Sarah shared. Their home was never closed to the community, and they greeted all their guests openly and hospitably. The ceremony begins with a family processional, after which the groom makes his way to the chuppah. In many ceremonies, the bride circles her future husband seven times before joining him, which symbolizes her building the walls of their new life together.
• Indicating that the solemnity of the ceremony has ended and it is time to celebrate, the breaking of the glass is one of the most recognizable elements of Jewish wedding ceremonies. It may remind guests that there is healing to be done somewhere in the world or protect the newlyweds and guests by satisfying evil spirits. Afterward, guests shout “mazel tov!“, meaning “good luck”. I suggest placing a glass inside a receptacle to ensure safety (cut feet have resulted) and hold the shards which can then be recycled into a keepsake.

The Reception

• One of my favorite Jewish wedding customs is The Hora, or “Royal Chair Dance”. This is the dance done during the reception in which the bridal party scoops the bride and groom up in chairs and dances with the chairs lifted above their heads. This is such a fun part of the reception and makes for great pictures! There is a lot that goes on during the Hora, so I’ve linked to The Wedding Yentas’ article on what makes The Hora so much fun!
• Perhaps the most special (in my opinion) tradition in traditional Jewish wedding ceremonies are the tables for the poor. To remember Proverbs 10:2 that “Charity saves from death”, many Jewish couples set out a table filled with food for the poor to enjoy during the wedding feast. Their presence would bring long life to the newlyweds. While it would be very uncommon to see a homeless person walk into a wedding reception and actually partake of the food on the table, many Jewish couples wish to give tzedaka (charity or justice) and remember the poor on their special day – especially when so much is being spent on food, hairdressers, and a limo…

There certainly are a lot of traditions, special language, and important elements to a Jewish wedding. If it seems like a history lesson, that’s because it is! Jewish culture holds on very tightly to the elements and traditions that have been passed down for thousands of years. If you’re invited to a Jewish wedding or are participating in a traditional (or non-traditional) Jewish celebration, you owe it to the bride and groom to understand the various parts of their  faith – many times, it’s the most important part of their lives.