Jerri Woolworth Weddings| San Diego Wedding Planner

Congratulations!

He popped the question on New Year’s Eve at the stroke of midnight! Or maybe he gave a heartwarming proposal in front of friends and family at Thanksgiving dinner. Or he got down on one knee amongst the lights and tinsel by the Christmas tree. Getting back to work after the first of the year is so hard with all the thoughts of dress designers, color palettes, and guest lists filling your mind. That resolution about losing 10 pounds isn’t so much for a regular summer bikini, anymore, but for a bikini on your HONEYMOON!

Now what?

Luckily, I’ve compiled a list of new year’s resolutions specifically for you, the bride-to-be. Maybe you’ve made these resolutions before, but they’ll take on special meaning now as you plan for your big day!

Resolution 2: Value Family

This was my friend’s new year’s resolution this year. She said that she wanted to value her extended family more and has spent the first part of this year calling her relatives, sharing things that happen throughout the day with her mother, and making plans to take trips to see distant aunts and uncles. I have met some of her extended family, though… Let’s just say: I don’t expect it to last too long. 😉

The very first thing that a newly-engaged bride should do is create a guest list. Whether you’re planning an opulent, over-the-top wedding for the ages, or an intimate affair with just a few close friends and family, this is job number one. Everything about the wedding hinges on how many people are going to be there. If you’re on a budget but want to serve a full dinner, a small wedding is the way to go. If you’re hosting a true “party” at the reception with a big dance floor, the more the merrier! If your husband-to-be hasn’t been collecting dinnerware and you’re really depending on that registry to be filled, invite those rich distant cousins.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when considering your guest list and those relatives that you want to “value” this year:

• What are your dreams? When you were a little girl, how did you envision your wedding day? A big party in a ballroom or a small gathering in a backyard? Don’t worry about what your friends’ (or mother-in-law’s) dreams are, but consider what you want for your day. Just because your college roommate got married on the top of the empire state building, hired Michael Bublé to perform at the reception, and had a cake encrusted with diamonds and gold doesn’t mean you can’t be happy with a intimate gathering at your family’s home.
• Who absolutely must be there? Think in chunks of people – college friends, childhood playmates, colleagues… Do all of your college sorority sisters need to be there? If you invite one, do you need to invite them all? Are the distant cousins you haven’t seen since grade school imperative to be there (especially if there are 9 of them)? I try to encourage my brides to pick people that you both have relationship with. Sometimes, there are distant aunts that your husband will meet for the first time at the wedding, but if you’re trying to keep it low, there’s nothing better than agreeing on everyone….
• Who absolutely must NOT be there? This is a tough question, especially considering the “value family” theme of the year, but there are certain people that aren’t welcome. If you’re having an open bar, maybe inviting the entire college fraternity brotherhood isn’t a great idea. Now is also a great time to establish ground rules about ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends. Be up front about your desires and encourage your man to be up front, as well. Another note: adding a +1 for single people is a quick way to rack up costs so take care if a lot of your friends aren’t married. There’s no need for your cousin to bring his flavor-of-the-week to the wedding.
• Who decides? Traditionally (though nothing is “traditional” anymore), half of the wedding invitations are given to each set of your parents. However, if they are involved in the conversation from the onset, you may be able to talk them down from inviting aunt Gladys and her 12 children. This also comes down to the question of “who is paying for the wedding?” If the parents of the bride are paying (traditional), then they should be in the conversation about guest list, especially size. Don’t let them hold it over your head and control the exact names on the place settings, but if they have budgeted for 100 people and you invite 400, you’ll both be disappointed. I’ve also had people ask me about a private shower or party for people who aren’t invited to the wedding. Read here for some expert insight on that.

Next up: Resolution 3 – Trim the Fat (in more ways than one!)